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In todays' society, especially in United States, more than half of the marriages end up in divorce.

There are numerous reasons for two married people to split their lives. Either they grow apart and do not adapt to each others' changes, stop loving each other as they once did, or simply cannot live with each other in harmony.

It is very common for kids to think that it is somehow their fault that their parents got divorced.
Many times adults like to involve kid's names in their arguments and fights.

Some get angry because of some responsibility that they have to take care of that has to do with the kid. All these issues affect the little ones.

Tons of pressure is usually build up before the actual divorce which leads to create some negative energy around the house and affect the kids.

Kids may feel a variety of different feelings during the divorce process. They may feel afraid, sad, even relieved. There's a question of which side to take and who to blame, who is right and who is wrong. Some children are barely affected.

Unfortunately most of the kids that go through their parent's divorce are affected emotionally as well as physically. Because of their parent's separation, there's a definite lack of the positive image of the family that they live up to. Their parents are all they have for that perfect role model to look up to. As kids grow up they are in a constant search of that perfect family with no worries, the family they never had.

As adults they will usually blame themselves because of the failure of finding that perfect family and will never be satisfied with what they have, wishing for more.
Also, a boy will usually date a girl who behaves in a certain ways as his mom did and vise versa. If that boy comes from a broken family, that female figure of the perfect mother is distorted and as a man he will most likely have a negative outlook on women.

Many adults are selfish and don't usually try to work things out. They should.
If two parents really care about their child they should do whatever they can to save their marriage.

Single parenting is not only hard emotionally but also very difficult to accomplish. A parent has to get two or even more jobs, struggle for life and the life of their child.
"Normal" family usually has dinner on the table, parents usually go to kids' soccer practice and school plays, and they show up at birthday parties and so on.

When parents are separated, that big, and important part of kid’s life is gone. Mom usually has no time to go to school events because she has to work two jobs and has no money for school pictures. After all, kids have to settle for frozen dinner.
What about children who are raised from the beginning by a single mom?
These kids usually develop hatred towards the missing gender. Later in life girls are less likely to settle unless the relationship is perfect because they don't want to put their kids through the pain of divorce and consequences that come with it. Sometimes they will date a large amount of people thinking that leaving the person is completely fine. During the actual divorce kids seem to do at their worst in school and socially. Teenagers might even commit suicide blaming the divorce on themselves.

Parents don't need to get along, they don’t need to like each other, they just need to stay together for the kids. By not separating, they give their kids a good example of how to deal with problems and how to overcome such great obstacles in life. Kids learn the importance of teamwork and compromise.

It is true that kids are most affected between the ages of two and five. Any events that happen in that time span will reflect on how they will live for the rest of their life. If parents divorce at that time and the kid sees that "mommy" and "daddy" practically hate each other then that's what kind of outlook they will have later in life.

With the divorce there are many things that follow. The actual process is extremely long emotionally and legally. Constant fights, daddy is gone most of the time, mommy is crying behind closed doors and then one day, a kid comes home and it's just doesn’t seem the same anymore.

Daddies ship collection is gone along with other things, the house is just seems half empty. After that many legal actions come in place. Both parents have to show up at the court. Then the question of dividing the property comes in and of course who gets the custody of the child. A kid feels like he or she is being tossed between two parents. Mommy-Monday trough Friday and Daddy is on the weekends. That by itself is extremely hard on both parents and a child.
Parents are sometimes forced to see each other they create even more problems affecting the child.

Whether parents want it or not, it is best to stay together and try to work things out. Not only will it save both adults a good amount of time and money but they will also affect the live of their child in a positive way. Some people through themselves in the divorce not thinking through the whole process. If they just wait they might forgive each other and start all over. The life of the child will be so much better in the future. The kid will have a positive role model and an ideal family to live for, they will be proud that they have such a strong family and will always look up to their parents. In the end , it is clear that divorcing between two people does not lead to anything good, only pain, loss of money and time.

Staying together for the kids is the key for a healthy family in American society.

Labels: divorce, family, psychology

posted by BFF @ 8:35 PM

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